I have some questions...

I have some questions running through my head at the moment. Maybe the readers of this reflection will help me to answer them.

My first question is, what does it mean for one to be right? Does it mean to follow the law? Does it mean to punish those who are wrong? Does it mean to put down those who do wrong and we don’t trust and then tell everybody else so they can persecute them too? Secondly, how can we make better when we have done wrong? When we have done something wrong in our lives and we find it difficult to be trusted again, how do we move forward? Lastly, how hard is it to really forgive?

Three questions that I constantly search for the answers. Yet these are questions that I feel we have all asked of ourselves at some point in our lives. I know I have and sometimes I still do. I am not perfect by any means, nor is anybody else that I know. You may be asking yourselves, where are these questions coming from? It’s funny but just watching a film on the life of Saul of Tarsus (St Paul) really got me thinking. Life 2000 years ago was very different to what it is today for many obvious reasons but one reason really sticks out, it is so much harder to believe in things these days.

If someone was to come up to you and say that Jesus had returned, it would be very hard to believe and that person would be persecuted as a fool. Even though the Christian faith has been taught that one day it will happen. Hmmm. What do I think? Honestly, I would probably think the same because I am no different than anybody else. I would find it hard to believe, yet I try hard to understand my own faith, such as it is. Unlike a faith leader, albeit Christian, Jewish, Roman Catholic, Muslim or whatever, I cannot teach or preach the word of God. Why? Because I haven’t learnt it for myself properly. I still do wrong from time to time, like us all. I make mistakes, like us all. I turn my back, like us all. But I am learning to turn back again and ask to be forgiven when I know I’ve messed up. Hopefully, all of us do that at some time.

The thing is, it’s ok to be like that. That’s what being human is all about. It is also what being a Christian is all about. I think this also goes for most faiths. Wasn’t this the story of St Paul? The man who wrote a big chunk of the new testament? The man who persecuted anyone who spoke of Christianity? The man who was present and witnessed the brutal execution of one of Jesus’s followers? The man who had to start again and convince everybody that he wasn’t the murderous persecutor he once was? This was a man of the law. This was a man who upheld the law and did what he thought was right. Persecuting people for speaking of Jesus and love was wrong, people were imprisoned or even executed for it. It makes you think.

In this day and age, one way that we definitely have changed is, it is so much harder for us to forgive. I hear how people have forgiven someone of a sin, yet will not speak to them or have anything to do with them. In my eyes, this is not forgiveness. Forgiveness, to some people is not holding on to what someone has done to you. A kind of way of freeing yourself. This is not forgiveness. That is just not holding a grudge. I read somewhere once that when God forgives, he casts the sin to eternal forgetfulness. In a way, he wipes the slate clean. Isn’t that what we were taught to do? If it was, why are we not doing it? If we can persecute someone for dong wrong how do we expect to be treated when we, ourselves get it wrong? If we put someone down in public, then should we expect the same to happen to us?

Again, these are just questions in my mind. I am not preaching to anyone but I do find the world we live in to be a difficult place to be what we should be. So, what does it mean to be right? I am still looking for the answer. Is there anybody out there qualified enough to tell me?